Look, a Blog!

Hello friends!

I have started a blog.

< it looks like this>

The title of my blog, is Adventures in Imaginary Adulthood, by me- Danika Westcoast.
I call it that because I have a secret. Well it is not a secret for those of you who know me. But for all those people who may stumble upon this blog,  it will be a secret for you. And that is kind of exciting.


I am a fraud.

I don't mean to be. It just sort of happened. You see, I am not really an adult, I am an outlaw. Bad ass I know. As with all outlaws, it is tough getting by. But I fall back on my tremendous acting skills and try to just play the part on weekdays, from 9-5. (If I am being really honest here, the hours vary). And I didn't mean to become an outlaw. I didn't just wake up one day with some wish to become a martyr in a land full of people I barely understand. But here I am. People treat me like an adult, most of the time, and I have all sorts of responsibilities. REALLY grown up responsibilities. But, all the while, in my head I know the truth. Sometimes, I get really really good at playing my role, sometimes I even forget I am acting. There I am swooshing around saying grown up things, having people take me seriously when all of a sudden, I am required to complete a grown up task and internally I falter. Totally bringing me back to the reality that I live in imaginary adulthood, not real adulthood. Sometimes, my acting leaves much to be desired and I have to make up some embarrassing excuse as to why I appear so un-adultlike today such as, "sorry guys. My teeth hurt. That's why I no form the sentences so good like I usually do."Then I walk away quickly like my grown up responsibilities are calling me so I don't have to answer follow up questions like, why do your teeth hurt? Or why would that stop your brain from working?

Here are some indications that my adulthood is imaginary: I work in a courthouse and when I see the judges walk around in their robes, I hear the Harry Potter theme song. Not only do I hear it, I hum it. Out loud. When they talk. I imagine them whipping out their wands and dueling in the hallways. The whole time they are talking to me, all I hear is: expecto patronum! and, lets get out of this bloody hell and get some butterbeer, shall we? Needless to say, it is a pretty big job barrier. I am sure the judges are telling me really important things too, I just have no idea what it is because I am not really an adult. I know it must be hard for them too, because they look annoyed at the girl who is humming and staring right through them with an idiotic grin on her face. Sometimes they try talking louder. Which only results in me humming louder. Vicious circle, really.


Another reason is Snoop Dogg. Yeah. Snoop Dogg. I don't know when it started. But it has really gone back as far as I can remember. I hear Snoop Dogg rap everything that happens in my daily life. All day, it is like he sits in the corner of whatever room I am in rapping about my life. I know it's hard to imagine, because I rarely get into gangster rap battles, shoot at any police with my nine,  or roll fat blunts with my homies but he still raps about it anyways. He doesn't stop there either, he raps about what I am thinking or about what I am doing in my day. Sometimes he evens asks me questions, or gives a little side commentary to my life. Today for example, he was rapping about my court training. Which is pretty dry material, but he does it anyways. Enter, rapping about my thoughts, such as: I am getting so fucking bored in here, I wish I could pinterest but I know I would get caught and my outlaw days would over. OR, God that woman over there is getting so annoying I wish she would shut up. Enter asking me questions, why don't you just tell that lady to shut the fuck up dawg?
Sigh, I just cant d o double g. It would blow my cover. Snoop Dogg nearly gets me in trouble daily.

I know this may sound confusing. But is is hard to explain everything at once. I am hoping as a few more blogs go by, things will make more sense. I will introduce you to my friends, family and dog! I will tell you about my life! I will use exclamation points! So stay tuned...